9/11

Last Sunday I had intended to post pictures of Guymon onto my blog today. I had planned on a few funny remarks about the quirks of this town but hadn't realized then what today's date would be.

I remember ten years ago. Brayten had already gone to work at Salt Lake Cable and Harness. I was alone in our small North Salt Lake Apartment. I was assembling cables, a small side job I did with Brayten to help pay for college. I sat on the tan colored carpet, listening only to the sound of my own breathing, with yellow, purple, red, and black cables before me all organized in rows.

Brayten called me, without saying, "Hi babe," or even, "Hello." He said, "Steph, turn on the radio." At the time we didn't have a television and this seemed like a funny request.

"Why? What's up?" I asked.

"Just turn it on," he said.

I did. Then I sat cross legged on the floor and listened as the world came tumbling down.

Brayten came home shortly thereafter. We clung to each other for a moment and then headed to my parent's house to watch as the calamity of history took place. I was young. I recall that this was the first time I ever realized that there are people in this world who hate Americans. The reasoning for this hatred was confounded. I wanted a direct answer, "They hate us because..." But I wasn't getting that. I couldn't fathom this. I had never really hated anyone in my life so it was hard for me to understand.

I remember being glued to the tv, all day. I remember the vivid images, the moments in time that are now etched in my memory. I remember my civil engineer Dad saying over and over again, "Those towers can't collapse. They won't collapse. They're constructed to not collapse." And then they did. I remember my two year old nephew being nervous about airplanes for years after 9/11. I remember feeling so sick, so sad.

Ten years have now passed. I've grown up a lot, I'm, unfortunately, not quite as naive as I used to be. I've brought two beautiful children into this crazy, mixed up, muddled up world. A world that sometimes seems too awful for sweet babies to come into. A world that sometimes scares me and at times I fear for my kids being in it. But in the words of Mr. Frank (Anne Frank's father), "We must have children, and raise them to be fine people. That is how the world can be changed."

So we move forward with faith, we accomplish hard things, and take one step at a time into the unknown future.

I'm grateful for my family, I'm grateful for my religion, I'm grateful for all of my blessings, and I'm grateful for this amazing nation in which we live. I'm grateful for all of those throughout our history who have fought for freedom, been in harms way for freedom, and died for freedom. I wonder what the next ten years will bring. Hopefully a bit more good in the world...hopefully a bit more peace...hopefully a bit more love because Heaven knows we could use it.

I love you all, until next time.

Welcome

Welcome to our apartment in lovely Guymon, Oklahoma. Now a few of my family members have been after me to actually take a some pix of where we live. This week I finally obliged them with photos of our apartment. I have been hesitating for so long because I just know that a few of you will be green with envy. I know, I know, you wish you could live here too, just try to keep your jealousy in check alright? Next week I'll take a few pictures of the town, it should only take a few (the town's not very big).


Apache Trace Apartments, Unit 109.

Master Bath, I know, it is phenomenal, right?

Computer Station on a Walmart rectangular card table, equipped with folding chair.

The "Work Bench" as quoted from Grandpa Wilding. And, yes, my night stand is an action packer with a sweet Walmart special lamp, $4.99 baby!

Family Room as viewed from the kitchen. Couch $150.00 from a garage sale. That thing in the corner, a continued source of marital tribulation, a Walmart special. Obviously Brayten won that one but he hasn't won the cable disagreement...yet...I'm holding strong.

Dining Table, I'm still curious why we chose not to bring any furniture with us. I guess, however, when it comes to moving again and we can just fold up our tiny table we will relish our genius...in the meantime, I'm not sure what we were thinking.

The spacious Kitchen.

Kids Bath.

Kids Room, featuring Maddie's cage.

Kids Room, featuring bunk beds that we purchased before we realized Maddie should be caged.

Despite our living conditions being drastically different than what we are used to, we are doing great. The kids are doing well. This has actually been a good exercise for me. I recognize all of the "things" that were necessary for me before are actually not necessary at all. It is nice being able to clean our entire living space in less than two hours. I can be happy without the granite counter tops, I can be happy without the exercise room, I can be happy without the steam shower-oh, actually scratch that one, I actually think I really need a steam shower.

We are happy but we are not happy about some little, little being a relative term, unwelcome "friends" who think they own our apartment. The other day while Tommy was at school and Maddie napped I actually splurged and decided to read a book. I laid down on our bed, picked up my nook, and started reading in the silence of our apartment. Soon my literary rendezvous was interrupted. I could hear the slight scampering of critters. On occassion they even had the audacity to chirp. "You shall die my small friends," I thought.

Let me introduce you to one of the hundreds that currently occupy our home. Not cool.

When we first moved in we would catch them and throw them outside... Then we began to flush them down the toilet... Now, in an effort to preserve water, we just squash them in a tissue. And trust me if you have never actually squashed a large cricket in your hand, you are missing out! I get the shivers each time I do it and then promptly coat my hands in sanitizer. We kill at a minimum fifteen crickets a day, inside. Sweet!

The other day we were cleaning the house. While I scrubbed the bathrooms Tommy was running the vacuum with the hose. He is awesome with this! I love it and he actually loves it too. He cleans areas I would almost never take the time to do. So he is working along and I am working along and Maddie is working along making messes for us to clean. When all of a sudden Tommy emits the scream of death. This is never a good sound, definitely something to be avoided if at all possible. The scream of death was followed by severe blubbering and frantic crying and just for good measure another scream of death.

I ran to him scooped him up to see what had happened. Through his tears he says, "There is a giant spider under your exercise mat."

He had been vacuuming in our entry closet and was emptying it out to get it even more clean, when he moved my yoga mat, and the world came tumbling down. I put my little boy down, sucked up my courage, put my brave face on, and gentle grabbed my yoga mat and while carefully inspecting it moved it out of the closet. I then emitted the scream of death. Took the still running vacuum with it's long hose and sucked up the 1/4 lb. spider.

Then leaving the vacuum on, I picked up Tommy and said, "Are you okay buddy? Because I'm not, hold me."

Well we survived. I had Tommy vacuum for another 20 minutes and once he was done I took extra precautions to make sure the apprentice to the devil was unable to emerge from the vacuum.

I think the giant spiders that live around here are actually Wolf Spiders. Now, I'm not talking about the little fuzzy, almost cute, black ones we have in Utah. I'm talking about Wolf Spiders that have bred with giants and mutated to flesh eating monsters. The spider that was in our entry closet, a mere five feet from my bedroom, was the size of my palm.

I get the shivers just thinking about it. In fact, I was agitated to the extreme for the rest of that day. So what did we do. We finished cleaning, mopped really well, and then coated the apartment with spider spray. That cute little entry closet, yeah, it has about two cups of dried spider spray on its floor. Die, vermin!

Well, enough about that. We probably should end on a positive note that has nothing to do with the terrible things that live with us. Tommy has been making great strides in swimming (well really, if he wasn't I would think something might be wrong with him considering we swim every single day). Here is the little man, doing what he does:

Well I hope you enjoyed a tour of our house and an introduction to our cohabitants. I know, you wish you were me right now! We love you all! Have a great week!